Kamis, 10 Agustus 2017

hmm

i've always said that my insecurity hold me down at the time; that i regret not confessing to you back then, not telling you how much you meant, and how much you differed from others.

but then, now that i think about it, even if i were to say that to you, what's next? would we be walking down our own paths again like nothing happened, or together finally hand in hand? i didn't know, and even now, i still don't.

though i know now that confessing to you was a reckless move, yes, it's still regretful. you know, i'm still in the frame, frozen, while you're already out there, soaring yourself away from the picture. for me this is a story that has no anti climax just yet, no resolve, or finish line.

you can say that i'm waiting. not for you or even for us, but for the perfect moment to finish this unending climax. i want this to end; i want to confess and watch you reject me right in front of my face. i want to be hurt, want to feel hopeless enough so i can walk away.

now, it doesn't matter what you think about me. this time, it's all about what i think about you, and that doesn't really differ much from a year ago.

i know, selfish, right? i'll sacrifice whatever remains of us to my own wistful resolve. well so forgive me in advance for we can't even be friends any more. we'll both don't want this feeling i keep inside, we both know that this finish line should happen. i need to learn how to let go.

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