Sabtu, 29 April 2017

"if it doesn't terrify you, it's not big enough"

ya, kembali mengutuk diriku yang tidak bisa mengambil keputusan. :D

di satu sisi, sangat bersemangat untuk mengejar hal itu, seolah-seolah every inch of my body says that it's my passion! it's my dream! tapi kemudian, ada sisi lain yang tidak mau. it's way beyond your comfort zone, said the skeptical side of me, it's so far away, can you even make it?

susahnya jadi orang yang bahkan milih maicih atau pringles aja mesti mikir 20 menit itu ya ini.

katanya, bakal datang suatu saat ketika kamu dewasa, di mana kamu harus memilih pilihan yang sangat sulit (and it would become 100 times harder for my indecisive self lol). i think that time is finally approaching? ya, officially, masih ada seenggaknya 2 taun lagi untuk gw bener-bener ambil keputusan itu, i mean sekonkrit-konkritnya. tapi... it's such a turning point?

bentar lagi umurku 20 tahun ma, pilihan hidupku semakin sulit, huhuhu.

one side of me wanna stay. it's my comfort zone, it's where i always at. but then, what good can it bring? will ever develop? whom am i doing this for?

i have another thing i wanna do. i've always wanted to do this, actually, but it's just so far away. i've always wanted to go after this. it's the thing i want to do, the thing i want to become. tapi, can you even do it? what'll happen if you fail? how will you learn? how will you gain experience? how can you get there?

dan semua pertanyaan itu leads me to the hardest pilihan ganda ever.

what do you want to be?
a. engineer aka forever saying at your comfort zone, but never speak up
b. [.....] aka so far away beyond your comfort zone (IT'S GON BE SO HARD), but the land of opportunity, plus it's your dream

tempatkan aku di sebaik-baiknya tempat ya tuhan..:"

p.s what is even a dream :( is it something cliche or something real i can't even define it properly

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